#72 - Send an anonymous donation (81/101).

There is a teaching in Judaism by the scholar Maimonides about the eight rungs of the giving ladder. I grew up learning the importance of giving tzedakah, or charity, and have learned the importance about the Maimonides giving ladder as well. It says the highest form of giving is giving in order to enable an individual to be self-reliant and that giving anonymously is more important than giving with your name/identity attached to the gift. Here is the full ladder:

1. The lowest: Giving begrudgingly and making the recipient feel disgraced or embarrassed.
2. Giving cheerfully but giving too little.
3. Giving cheerfully and adequately but only after being asked.
4. Giving before being asked.
5. Giving when you do not know who is the individual benefiting, but the recipient knows your identity.
6. Giving when you know who is the individual benefiting, but the recipient does not know your identity.
7. Giving when neither the donor nor the recipient is aware of the other's identity.
8. The Highest: Giving money, a loan, your time or whatever else it takes to enable an individual to be self-reliant.

I completed #72 - Send an anonymous donation, at some point in the last week. I don't want to share many more details because of the nature of the giving ladder. In the spirit of Giving Tuesday and the season of giving, I hope you all give at some point during this season.

#4 - Ask 20 friends to suggest one book, and read them all (80/101).

Below is a list of twenty books I have been recommended to read over the last year or so. They are a diverse bunch - from fiction to nonfiction, historical to business books, autobiographies to religion & spirituality, I really enjoyed reading them all. Here is the list in no particular order:

1. With Roots in Heaven: One Woman's Passionate Journey into the Heart of her Faith
• By Tirzah Firestone
2. I am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban 
• By Malala Yousafzai
3. Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You're Worth 
• By Mika Brzezinski
4. The Nightingale 
• By Kristin Hannah
5. Rocket Fuel: The One Essential Combination That Will Get You More of What You Want from Your Business 
• By Gino Wickman and Mark C. Winters
6. Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers
• By Anne Lamott
7. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
• By J.K. Rowling, Jack Thorne and John Tiffany
8. The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1963 Berlin Olympics 
• By Daniel James Brown
9. My Promised Land: The Triumph and Tragedy of Israel 
• By Ari Shavit
10. The Cheat Code
• By Brian Wong
11. Small Great Things
• By Jodi Picoult 
12. Mission, Meaning, and Money: How the Joint Distribution Committee Became a Fundraising Innovator
• Mark I. Rosen
13. It's What I Do: A Photographer's Life of Love and War
• By Lynsey Addario 
14. The Art of Possibility
• By Rosamund Zander and Benjamin Zander
15. The Orphan Master's Son
• By Adam Johnson 
16. A Thousand Splendid Suns
• By Khaled Hosseini
17. My Brilliant Friend
• By Elena Ferrante
18. The Handmaid's Tale
• By Margaret Atwood
19. What Happened
• By Hillary Rodham Clinton
20. Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy
• By Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

#78 - Host a dinner party with no phones allowed (79/101).

Have you ever played phone stack - the game people play at a restaurant where everybody stacks their phones in a pile and the first person to reach for it pays the bill? Phone stack is a game invented to encourage people to disconnect and put down their phones when they are with others. I have been the winner/loser (depending on how you see it) of phone stack before and had to pay for dessert for the table when I touched my phone during the meal. I know that I am guilty of pulling out my phone at the dinner table unconsciously and wanted to try hosting a dinner party with no phones allowed.

Last week, we hosted "Friendsgiving" for eight of our friends in Richmond. When people arrived, we asked everyone to line up their phones in the kitchen and not touch them until they were ready to leave. Everyone was happy to oblige and it made our dinner conversation so pleasant to not have different people reaching into their pockets to check the score of the game, look who had Snapchatted them, etc. Each person brought over a dish - roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, stuffing, wild rice, cranberry chutney, green beans, baked brie, dinner rolls, apple pie and cream cheese pumpkin cookies and we enjoyed the food over some delicious wine.

If you haven't tried hosting a dinner party with no phones allowed or playing phone stack, I would definitely challenge you to try it!

P.S. The photo above was taken before everyone arrived. No phones = no photos of the delicious food.

#58 - Travel to Israel with Clark (78/101).

While I have traveled to Israel before, experiencing it with Clark made it in many ways feel like I was experiencing it again for the first time. Clark and I joined 14 other couples from the Richmond area for a 9-day experience with the organization Honeymoon Israel. Honeymoon Israel brings couples with at least one Jewish partner from the same community on an immersive journey through the country of Israel. Over 70% of couples that travel with Honeymoon Israel are interfaith and the majority are in their late 20s and 30s. Experiencing Israel with Clark let me experience it through his eyes. So what did we do?

Our journey began in Jerusalem (after a long long layover in Boston) - walking through the quiet streets on Shabbat, exploring the Israel Museum, touring the many corners of the old city, hanging out in the Machane Yehuda Market (Shuk), visiting Yad Vashem (Holocaust remembrance) participating in a Challah baking workshop, celebrating Shabbat, eating delicious food (try out the tasting menu at The Eucalyptus, rugelach from Marzipan and breakfast buffet at the Orient Hotel) and more. 

We hiked up Masada, covered ourselves in mud and swam in the 33% sodium-filled dead sea, drove in jeeps along Syria’s border after eating pink lady apples picked from the trees of a nearby kibbutz, learned about Kabbalah (Jewish mysticism) in Tzfat/Safed, made za’atar (spice in the oregano family) in an Arab village at a nonprofit where Arab and Jewish women work alongside each other and danced the night away in a field with an Israeli band. 

We ate our way through Tel Aviv and Jaffa (cocktails at Bellboy, 22 salads at The Old Man and the Sea, kombucha at Levinsky 41) celebrated Shabbat on the beach, rode bikes on the promenade, toured Florentine’s graffiti and the Levinsky Market and stayed at incredible hotels (Orient in Jerusalem, Ramot Resort overlooking the Sea of Galilee, & Carlton in Tel Aviv). 

The trip was incredible but the conversations and community that was built throughout the journey took it to the next level. Engaging in conversations with couples that are at a similar life stage and having similar conversations as Clark & me was powerful. While walking through the old city, a place full of rich traditions and history, we would be talking about what types of Jewish rituals we’d like to include in our upcoming wedding or over dinner would be asking another couple what type of religious education they are thinking about for their children, or while sitting outside drinking wine would be talking about what values are important to us in our partnerships. Clark now understands even more so why Israel holds a dear place in my heart - it was so incredible to experience Israel together and we are excited to continue conversations and building community with the many couples we met back home in Richmond. 

Salads from Old Man and the Sea

Rugelach from Marzipan

Kombucha from Levinsky 41